June 1, 2020

Our phone call this morning was rough.  Elder Trezise felt like I had only been criticizing him lately and he just felt overwhelmed and shoved down.  When we hung up I was very emotional.  He later sent me a short email that said he was sorry and that he just felt like everyone was against him.  It opened my eyes that I need to be more supportive and loving.  He later sent this email:

Hello family! 

First off, the salsa turned out delicious! Elder Moore is super giddy. Secondly, this week was a pretty good one. I had 2 different exchanges that both went well, and it helped me out a good amount. And we taught a ton and it was overall just a good week. The weeks seem to blur by really fast so it's kinda hard to remember everything that happened. 

 

Today I wanted to talk a little bit about my favorite talk, and I know I've talked about it before, but it's been on my mind a lot recently. In the talk the speaker informs us that every human has 4 basic needs. And these needs run our lives. They determine our actions, thoughts, and feelings. These needs are; 

1. To survive - To live. We all need to live. (Obviously)

2. To love and be loved - Whether we think we have any of these or not, we do. We need to be loved, and we need to love in return. 

3. To feel important - We have the need to feel wanted, to feel needed. 

4. Variety - It's an interesting one, butit's there. It's why we watch different tv shows, listen to different music, and go on vacation. We can't do the same thing over and over. We need variety. 

 

The speaker goes on to explain that in a perfect world these needs will all be met through the Savior. We will feel a desire to live from Christ, we will feel loved by Christ, and love Him in return. We will know that we are of infinite importance to Him, and we feel have feelings of variety from what He offers. (That's why I think we get something different out of the scriptures each time we read them). 

 

But sadly it's not a perfect world, and we are not perfect people. And not all our needs are met the way they should be. So we find temporary solutions to meet them. Often times this is why people drink, or do drugs, or make other mistakes. It's a temporary OK feeling. If I don't feel loved or important, and I take drugs, will I feel loved and important? Yes. The high that you get will allow your needs to be temporarily met. But that's the problem. It's temporary. And soon enough your need to survive will depend on it. Because it's an addiction. I'm just using this as an example. There are many different things we do to meet our needs, not all of them are bad. But ultimately we need to find the correct ways to meet the needs. There's an interesting quote by Spencer W. Kimball where he says, "Sin is the result of deep and unmet needs." 

 

How powerful is that! When our needs are not met, and they aren't met to the point where it causes us to mentally be unstable, we will do whatever we can to meet the needs. And that's what I wanted to talk about. I don't struggle with survival. I think I'm good there. I don't struggle with feeling important, I couldn't care less what others think of me. I don't struggle too much with variety, I can stay busy without problem. But I've determined that my problem is to love and feel loved. I'm not sure why the need isn't being met right now. I don't know. I'm studying, I'm praying, I'm teaching, and I'm doing everything I can to do what Heavenly Father wants me to do. I hate that I even have to say that, but I want you all to know that I'm trying my best. I'm doing what I can. Just give me time. One of my favorite quotes from the talk is, "Results take time to measure." I know I'm doing what I need to do, but it's going to take time. 

To clarify, this email is not meant to be a pity party. I don't need help, I can do it on my own. I'm working on ways to meet my needs in the healthiest way possible. And I'll get there. But please don't treat me like I'm not trying. It's not in my nature to commit to something and quit. I am giving it all I have. 

 

As for each of you, evaluate your needs, and find out which of your needs struggle. Which ones you have temporary solutions to, and which ones you don't have any solutions to. A lot of this depends on your personality. On who you are deep down. And when you figure out which needs aren't being met, or at least in the healthiest way, do something to change that! Do something to fix it! What aspect of Gospel living are you slacking on? I promise you that when you start to center your lives around the Savior you'll feel them start to be met in the correct ways. Now there will be wavering and there will be trials. But remember, results take time to measure. Be patient through those trials, and most importantly be patient with yourself. I love each of you and am here to help you however and whenever I can. I mean that sincerely. 

-Elder Trezise