Sept. 16, 2019

Elder Trezise and Sis Contessa

Hello family! This week was fantastic! To start off, on Wednesday we had our zone conference (it's a huge gathering of half the mission that meet together once every 6 weeks). Elder Hathaway of the 70 was there, and gave a training on how to be converted to the Lord. It was awesome. Afterwards I got to lead a discussion about how to get people we're teaching to go to sacrament. It went really well, and wasn't as stressful as I thought it would be.Then on Thursday we had interviews with President Hurley, and that was super awesome. I love that man. Friday we had a zone fast to find new people to teach. Elder Luekenga and I walked around for 4 hours, and found 2 new people! Saturday Elder Luekenga had a baaaaad cold and looked like death (he still has it). So I basically worked out all day while he phased in and out of sleep. Sunday we went to church despite his sickness, and there were two members who brought their non-member friends with them. These two nonmembers want to be baptized! So we started teaching them! Overall it was just an awesome week. And we found out that Elder Bednar will be visiting us this Friday!!!

In preperation for Elder Bednar I have been reading a bunch of his talks, trying to understand the way he speaks, so that I can be prepared. There is one talk he gave, that he gave in the MTC, and plenty of other places. It is called "The Character of Christ." The MTC version is the best, but isn't available sadly. But I read another version of the talk, and there were a few things that really stuck out to me. But the thing I learned the most about is how to emulate the Savior in my everyday life. There is a story he gives at the end,  "Early one summer morning I was showering. My wife called to me in the middle of my shower and indicated that I was needed immediately on the telephone. (This was before the day of cell and cordless phones). I quickly put on my robe and hurried to the phone. I next heard the voice of a dear sister and friend informing me of a tragic automobile accident that had just occurred in a remote area involving three teenage young women from our stake. Our friend indicated one of the young women had already been pronounced dead at the scene of the accident and that the two other young women were badly injured and presently were being transported to the regional medical center in Fayetteville. She further reported that the identity of the deceased young woman was not yet known. There was urgency in her voice, but there was no panic or excessive alarm. She then asked if I could go to the hospital, meet the ambulance when it arrived, and assist in identifying the young women. I answered that I would leave immediately.

During the course of our telephone conversation and as I listened to both the information being conveyed and the voice of our friend, I gradually became aware of two important things. First, this friend's daughter was one of the young women involved in the accident. Our friend lived approximately 35 miles from the hospital and therefore needed the assistance of someone who lived closer to the city. Second, I detected that the mother simultaneously was using two telephone handsets--with one in each hand pressed to each of her ears. I became aware that as she was talking with me, she was also talking with a nurse at a small rural hospital who had initially attended to the three accident victims. Our friend was receiving updated information about the condition of the young women in the very moment she was informing me about the accident and requesting my help. I then heard one of the most remarkable things I have ever heard in my life.

I faintly heard the nurse telling this faithful mother and friend that the young woman pronounced dead at the scene of the accident had been positively identified as her daughter. I could not believe what I was hearing. I was listening to this good woman in the very moment that she learned of the death of her precious daughter. Without hesitation, and with a calm and most deliberate voice, our friend next said, "President Bednar, we must get in contact with the two other mothers. We must let them know as much as we can about the condition of their daughters and that they will soon be in the hospital in Fayetteville." There was no self-pity; there was no self-absorption; there was no turning inward. The Christlike character of this devoted woman was manifested in her immediate and almost instinctive turning outward to attend to the needs of other suffering mothers. It was a moment and a lesson that I have never forgotten. In a moment of ultimate grief, this dear friend reached outward when I likely would have turned inward.


I then drove to the hospital with a concern in my heart for the well-being of the two other beautiful young women who had been involved in the accident. Little did I realize that the lessons I would learn about Christlike character--lessons taught by seemingly ordinary disciples--were just beginning.


I arrived at the hospital and proceeded to the emergency room. After properly establishing who I was and my relationship to the victims, I was invited into two different treatment areas to identify the injured young women. It was obvious that their respective wounds were serious and life threatening. And the lovely countenances and physical features of these young women had been badly marred. Within a relatively short period of time, the two remaining young women died. All three of these virtuous, lovely, and engaging young women--who seemed to have so much of life in front of them--suddenly had gone home to their Eternal Father. My attention and the attention of the respective families now shifted to funeral arrangements and logistics.

A day or so later, in the midst of program planning and detail arranging for the three funerals, I received a phone call from the Relief Society president of my home ward. Her daughter had been one of the victims in the accident, and she and I had talked several times about her desires for the funeral program. This faithful woman was a single mother rearing her only child--her teenage daughter. I was especially close to this woman and her daughter having served as both their bishop and stake president. After reviewing and finalizing several details for the funeral of her daughter, this good sister said to me, "President, I am sure it was difficult for you to see my daughter in the emergency room the other day. She was severely injured and disfigured. As you know, we will have a closed casket at the funeral. I have just returned from the funeral home, and they have helped my daughter to look so lovely again. I was just wondering . . . why don't we arrange a time when we can meet at the mortuary and you can have one last look at her before she is buried. Then your final memories of my daughter will not be the images you saw in the emergency room the other day." 

I listened and marveled at the compassion and thoughtfulness this sister had for me. Her only daughter had just been tragically killed, but she was concerned about the potentially troublesome memories I might have given my experience in the emergency room. In this good woman I detected no self-pity and no turning inward. Sorrow, certainly. Sadness, absolutely. Nevertheless, she reached outward when many or perhaps most of us would have turned inward with sorrow and grief.

Let me describe one final episode related to these three tragic deaths. On the day of her daughter's funeral, this Relief Society president from my home ward received a phone call from an irritated sister in our ward. The complaining sister had a cold and did not feel well, and she basically chewed out the Relief Society president for not being thoughtful or compassionate enough to arrange for meals to be delivered to her home. Just hours before the funeral of her only child, this remarkable Relief Society president prepared and delivered a meal to the murmuring sister."

This story makes me put my own attitude in retrospect. I very much doubt that I would have acted the way this woman acted if I had been in her shoes. But she understood and exemplified the character of Jesus Christ. I strive every day to be more like my Savior, and I know there are things that I, as well as everyone else in this world need to work on. But whatever weaknesses we have, it doesn't matter. What matter is if we are striving every day to turn those weaknesses into strengths. That is what the Lord promises us in Ether 12:27. So turn to Him when life gets hard. Turn to Him when you struggle. Turn to Him with your weaknesses, and because of His character, He will not abandon you. He will not let you down. I promise. I love you all. I know that this Gospel is true! 

-Elder Trezise